If any of you are NPR listeners, you've probably heard their "This I Believe" series. It's a collection of personal essays centered around belief. Last week, I entered my own submission. The chances of it landing on the air are vitrually 'nil' (they love the celebrity essays), so here it is below. I'd encourage you to submit your own essay here. The word limits are challenging. How do you accurately portray a belief in less than 500 words? On the site is an interesting essay by Penn Gillette (of the magic duo Penn and Teller) on his belief that there is no God.
This I Believe, by Drew Moser
I believe I don’t have all the answers. Spirituality is a messy endeavor. As a newly minted evangelical pastor with progressive leanings, I’m frustrated by the ideology spewed forth from a select few who claim to represent me. I’m frustrated by the media’s insistence to give them a continual platform. I’m frustrated with my church’s misguiding. I’m frustrated with the caricatures drawn of us: narrow-minded, hypocritical, anti-everything. I’m also frustrated that we’ve earned such caricatures.
Yet I’m inspired by Jesus in an unshakeable fashion. I came to the Christian faith as a teen, through the traditional ‘scare you out of hell’ alter call. I got…‘saved’. Yet I now realize that my conversion was merely the beginning; a stepping stone to a life of redemption. It was a turning point, not simply a ticket into heaven. Tickets can be bought and sold. Devotion is priceless. Yes, I believe in Jesus as lord and savior, despite the baggage my fellow Christians have heaped upon him. But I believe that devotion to Jesus cannot be pandered down to rules, steps, or pew-warming. It’s a way of life.
I now carry a business card that labels me a ‘pastor’, and the experience has done more to question my faith than solidify it. Life can’t be summed up in pat answers, bible thumping, or a slick sermon. The grieving, the widow, the orphan, and the oppressed quickly deconstruct such shallow religion. I believe that claiming that one’s faith has ‘all the answers’ cuts it off at the knees, rendering it useless. Such faith is not ‘faith’. It’s a coping device. Though my faith now has more questions than answers, this messiness makes it deeper and more authentic. Spirituality is a beautiful mystery that frustrates and seduces simultaneously. It’s messy.
It’s in the mystery and wonder of faith in Jesus that I choose to live. I’m no longer afraid of it. In it I find a peace that transcends understanding; a depth that tears the thin veil of a fundamentalist, pharisaical rule-making. Is my church riddled with inconsistencies? Yes. Historical black eyes? Yes…Hope? Absolutely. I work in the church because I believe that, historically, it has done some good on this earth and can do so much more. At its best, it’s a powerful force for love, hope, and truth to a suffering world.
Though, in today’s world, many have given up on church for a more private spiritual journey, I believe they miss out on the beauty of a faith community. I believe faith is personal, but never private. I believe it’s best expressed in an imperfect, broken, yet loving community. This is why I work in the church, in spite of its shortcomings. This is why I believe in the Christian faith, in spite of its questions. This is why I’m comfortable with a spirituality that’s messy. This is why I don’t have all the answers, but I’m not afraid of the questions. This I believe.
To the generous, benevolent, anonymous person who sent me Claiborne's Irresistable Revolution, thanks. I wish I knew specifically who sent it to me, so that I can thank she/he more personally, but since they've chosen to remain anonymous, this will have to suffice. I love surprises...especially book surprises. You made my day a little brighter...
Well, it's 5:45 AM and I'm wide awake...have been since 3 or so. Gotta love jetlag. We made it back safe and sound from England. It was a great trip. We had a great time with our friend Betsy, who was a great host and wonderful (or dare I say, 'smashing') guide.
Some highlights:
The pubs--I loved the pubs. They truly are a house for the public. Plenty of good brew and conversation. They're old, tiny, and full of character. I now also see pubs are the main gathering spot for the community...but I'll get to that in the lowlights.
The London sights--It's always great to see 'must see' sights in person. Big Ben? Check. Parliament? Check. The London Eye? Check. etc. London was a historical feast for the eyes. Favorite quote from our time in London...from Betsy: "The guards at Buckinham palace can't take a break from their post to use the bathroom, so they just have to soil themselves!" Long live the queen, I suppose.
Shakespeare--We went to Shakespeare's hometown, Stratford upon Avon, which was a lot of fun. Saw his house, and the playhouse where his scripts were brought to life. It was a tad bit touristy, but still picturesque.
Oxford--Great city. The colleges? Amazing. The history? Incredible. The eagle and child (The Inklings pub)? Check...even sat in the rabbit room, where they spent most of their time. Oxford is a mish-mash of modern shops, old, old, architecture, and people from all of the the globe.
Now for the lowlights:
Weather--cold, rainy, windy...blah
Speaking of colds, I had a nasty one pretty much the entire trip...double blah
Our economy--The exchange rate was roughly 1.8 dollars to the pound. Definitely not in our favor....No wonder all the Brits love coming to vacation and shop in the states.
Ok, my head's too cloudy to think anymore. I'll put up some pics later.
"This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars This other Eden, demi-paradise This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world This precious stone set in the silver sea... Against the envy of less happier lands This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England." --William Shakespeare, King Richard II
Is this true...or is it simply hyperbolic nationalism? I think I'll go find out for myself. Bekah and I head across the pond on Thursday for 6 days of sightseeing, thirst quenching, and British cultural immersion. If time allows, we also may check out a few schools for a possible Ph.D. We're taking advantage of free lodging and car, courtesy of our good friend Betsy (who lives in Oxford). Can't wait!
Here's my prep:
Music on the iPod: (not a comprehensive list...just some highlights)
I found a video hosting service, YouTube. Here's a video of my recent trip to California. While enjoying the sunset on a beach near Santa Cruz, Mike found what will go down in history as the eighth wonder of the world. It's a seaweed/kelp/'i don't know what the heck it is' whiplike thingy. Trust me, it's not a rope. Ropes don't smell like this. The ocean somehow created this thing, and due to its length and physical prowess, we decided to call our newfound discovery 'Tristan' (any Legends of the Fall fans out there?). Guest appearances by our host Rico (the whip-er) and Bryan (the whipping boy)...and of course, lead performance by Tristan himself. Cinematography by yours truly. Enjoy!
I get numerous emails, phone calls, and conversations that often center around the question: What is 'emerging'? It's a great question...and one that's difficult to answer. Scot McKnight, author of the Jesus Creed, has written a fantastic article describing the movement. Check it out here.
Before you read, you must agree to the following rules (I suppose you don't really have to, but I'd really like you to consider them... pretty please).
1. The emerging movement cannot be traced to one person, such as Brian McLaren. I'm a huge fan of McLaren, but he's become the default whipping boy for the movement. That's just ridiculous. He's but one player among many, and doesn't deserve the lashings. You can't expect McLaren to speak for all 'emerging' types. 2. The emerging movement cannot be traced to one theological position. They are not all liberal, and they are not all conservative. They are united by a mission, not a doctrinal statement. 3. The emerging movement is an umbrella, not a denomination. This encompasses the previous two, but is worth noting specifically. Many critics of the movement treat it as if it were a uniformed denomination. It's not. It's a loosely collected village (hence, the emergent village). 4. The emerging movement is akin to any other paradigm shift in 'church' that's occurred throughout history, in that a changing culture requires a shift in HOW we reach that culture. Consider history when critiquing the movement: the protestant reformation, the anabaptist movement, the rise of fundamentalism, the megachurch movement, the purpose driven model, etc.
It's funny how life works itself out. God is certainly a poet of life, a painter of creation, and an overall, knock your socks off creative being. On my way out the door to head for the aiport, I grabbed Through Painted Deserts, by Don Miller.
Part travelogue, part memior, part musing on beauty...Miller is a master of storytelling. If Blue Like Jazz was about faith/truth, and Searching for God Knows What is about love, then Through Painted Deserts is about beauty...beauty that transcends keeping up with the Jones', that transcends possessions, popularity, or power...
So, anyway, back to my original point (or in snooty literary terms, "I digress")...I'm on the plane, reading about these two guys in a beater VW Van. I find my way off the plane, through baggage claim, and onto the curb, and what's that coming to pick me up? Non other than a VW Van. It was truly poetic. . . .
Here are some zingers from the book that deserve the extra ink in my pen for circling, underlining, and starring:
“No life cannot be understood flat on a page. It has to be lived; a person has to get out of his head, has to fall in love, has to memorize poems, has to jump off bridges into rivers, has to stand in an empty desert and whisper sonnets under his breath…” (blogger aside: This is a true statement that sums up the struggle between ministry experience and theological education...I recommend a healthy dose of both)
“The rising question of why had been manifesting for some time, and had previously only been answered by Western Christianity’s propositions of behavior modification. What is beauty? I would ask. Here are the five keys to a successful marriage, I would be given as an answer. It was as if nobody was listening to the question being groaned by all of creation.” (blogger aside: Can you imagine the transformation and gravitation that would organically occur in today's churches is we explored this central, core question: What is beauty? To quote GOB from Arrested Development, "Come on!" Today's church is all too often offerring answers to questions that people aren't asking...We're giving answers to the follow-up surfacy questions that stem from core questions that we refuse to acknowledge.)
“We live on top of the created world, I think to myself, not in it.” (blogger aside: not sure where to go with this one, but I liked it. He was referring to the fact that we can drive all over the country, in a car, insulated and hovering over the earth.)
“It is difficult to recall, much less recapture, the excitement of an adventure’s beginning when you find yourself in the boring middle of it.” (blogger aside: How this applies to the Christian journey!)
“In terms of analogies, canyons are solely neglected. A canyon can be used to describe hell or confusion or all sorts of important spiritual realities.” (blogger aside: Getting to see the Grand Canyon was a major goal in the book...how often we glorify mountains and neglect the canyons in life)
“life is not a story about me, but is being told to me, and I can be glad of that.” (blogger aside: fantastic perspective here)
Back to San Fran: Our group was enjoying the sound of the Pacific waves crashing against the sand, eyes fixed on a beachside campfire, and we were talking about truth. What is it? How do we go about finding it? Can we know it? It was an ecclectic group of guys..all the makings of a bad joke: a barrista, a ski bum, a med student, a waiter, and a pastor (me).
Andy, the ski bum in our group, may have said it best: "Beauty is truth..." Yeah, wrap your brain around that one.
I fly out today for the City by the Bay. I've got my journal in one hand, digital camera in the other. I'll try to have some pictures up here on Wed. Until then, I'll probably take a blog fast. Gotta maximize my few days out there.
My brother emailed me a fascinating article on implications of fair trade coffee on the market. I'm a coffee buff, I love the drink as well as the industry. I've worked at coffee shops and even co-owned an espresso bar at one time.
Basically, there are two camps in the industry: the fair trade and the free trade. The free trade are fiscally conservative, free enterprise capitalists who adhere to Reagonomics, believing that the global economy's 'invisible hand' will balance out the earnings in a particular economic system (farm worker, farm owner, exporter, importer, roaster, coffee shop owner, etc) and success and profits will trickle down to those who participate in the system well. Thus, any hindrance to this free flowing system will mess it all up. This is the view currently trumpeted by 'W'...
Advocates of fair trade aren't so trusting, and believe that even in a purely capitalist system, people still get oppressed. So they promote a 'fair trade' certification system that ensures fair wages at all levels, and still allows coffee shop owners to make a profit. (trust me, you wouldn't find fair trade to regularly in local shops if owners couldn't make money off of it).
Where do I stand? It's clear that, even in a free-flowing global market, it's still probable that the producers of raw goods get hammered by the developing world in such 'free' trade agreements (as Ron Sider would point out). Call it the latent socialist within me, but I'd rather take my chances paying for the certification label that my money goes to the farmers, as opposed to buying any ol' coffee and just hoping that all the middlemen are behaving themselves.
This article does raise a fascinating question: What about the plantation owners that, in fact, treat their employees oustanding, or better than fair trade rules, therefore have no need to pay the fees to become certified?
So I spent yesterday visiting 2 midwestern Christian colleges. I sit on our church's scholarship committee, and the committee attempts to visit those students from our church, if possible. Wednesday was Bethel (IN) and Spring Arbor. It was a fascinating experience, to observe how Christian colleges are educating, spiritually forming, and indoctrinating the Christian youth of our nation. I'll reserve any judgments for a more appropriate time.
However, I can't resist pointing out one thing. This one thing struck me as very, very odd. One of the institutions (you can research it for yourself) offers a graduate degree (M.A.) in Communication. Communication is a very common, very applicable subject in just about any field, so I'm not saying that the subject matter is odd. Rather, it's the method of study. This particular M.A. in COMMUNICATION is offerred....entirely...completely...solely....ONLINE.
How does one achieve a Master's level knowledge in communication by merely staring at a computer screen?
Check out this speech from Senator Barack Obama on energy independence to the National Governers' Association. It's not only a fantastic, balanced assessment of all the complexities of our energy dependence, but it's also a seemingly 'doable' strategy for working towards independence...one that doesn't kill The Motor City.
The tide is turning regarding oil dependency, thanks in large part to 'W's call for energy reform in his state of the union speech. It's high time for a bipartisan proposal to give our nation a freezing cold shower, cooling off our oil lust. To all the card carrying members of the political far right...please recognize our oil dependency for what it is: unhealthy, dangerous, politically threatening, and downright sinful. To all the card carrying members of the political far left...please recognize that we must, in addition to a prophetic call for responsible energy consumption, offer some tangible, strategic planning to help the big 3 in Detroit along in this process. Our economy is too dependent on them to simply cut them off at the knees.
To all: read this speech and think about it...then DO something.
You know a book is GOOD when you read it twice in 2 months. Buechner just exudes powerful, poetic prose. Each sentence delves deep into the subject at hand. The Faces of Jesus is no exception. Buechner chronicles a life story of Jesus in less than 100 pages, and everypage seemed to teach me something new about my Lord and Savior. (Plus the cover is sweet). His impact on the reader is much the same as Henri Nouwen or Thomas Merton...brevity, clairty, depth, wisdom...
Here are some quotes from the book worth meditating upon:
“Made and remade to the measure of each generation’s desire, dread, indifference—he was a man once, whatever else he may have been. And he had a man’s face, a human face.”—vii
“...a face so unlike any other that we would have no choice but to remember it always and follow or flee it to the end of our days and beyond.”—viii
“History creates heroes, but saints seem to arrive under their own steam. Evil, evolves, but holiness happens.”—p. 8
“the creator of the ends of the earth came among us in diapers”—21
“that shortest, bluntest verse in the entire New Testament: ‘Jesus wept’--50
“But for Jesus because he believed he had to die in order to save the world, there could be no hope for anything from the world to save him from dying…the miracle was to be that there would be no miracle.”—56
“God makes his saints out of fools and sinners because there is nothing much else to make them out of.”—59
“If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party.
The world says, "mind your own business."
Jesus says, "There is no such thing as your own business"
The world says, "follow the wisest course and be a success"
Jesus says, "follow me and be crucified"
The world says, "drive carefully—the life you save may be your own"
Jesus says, "whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it"
The world says, "law and order"
Jesus says, "Love"
The world says, "get"
Jesus says, "give"
--p. 61
On communion: “Even if the priest is a fraud, the bread a tasteless wafer, the wine not wine at all but temperance grape juice, the one who comes to this outlandish meal in faith may find there something to feed his deepest hunger, a new life to bring him alive.”—63
“We are Gnostics ourselves when in excessive veneration of the goodness of Jesus we shy away from his humanness, from the fact that like the rest of us he did not just have a body, but was a body, a body that he might never have been able to drab another step further is Simon of Cyrene had not been strong-armed into shouldering the cross for him.”—72
Check out this recent Time magazine article on the house church (aka simple church) movement. Fascinating stuff... Jewish gatherings are also springing up in living rooms across the country. Coincidence? Or a sign of things to come. Megachurch pastors are probably shaking in their penny loafers...
I was recently Google Chatting with a friend from Northern California who is a passionate advocate of deconstructing everything that has to do with the established church in order to go 'smaller'. In his opinion, Jesus went 'small'...his followers screwed it up by trying to make it 'big'. I think he's onto something. In addition to the increased intimacy and accountability that could come from house churches, imagine the time and resources that would be freed up. No pastor's salary to fund, no building campaign's (we'd stop abusing the book of Nehemiah), and a lot less time 'producing' a Sunday morning.
For more on the house church movement, from the Southern California perspective, check out J. Evan's blog.
If you haven't checked out Sufjan Stevens, stop reading this and go buy this album. Have you stopped reading? I'm serious!
Ok, for those of you who have persisted, here's why I love Sufjan:
1. He loves Jesus (but not in that way). What I mean is, Sufjan doesn't docetize (I just made up that word, from the docetist idea that Jesus is simply Spirit and not human) his music. He doesn't divorce his spritual lyrics from the street. His lyrics are creative, raw, and refreshingly human. Much of today's Christian music is formulaic, comprising of the same chord progression, with a quota of certain spiritual words tossed about (Jesus, God, love, heart, etc).
2. He's innovative (but still in touch) Sufjan is part of a movement that is changing the face of music. Call it postmodern, call it post-rock, call it soothing psychadelic...call it whatever you want. Sufjan isn't afraid to make music that top 40 radio won't play. His subtitles for his songs are richer in meaning than entire songs by some of the junk on radio (case in point: Track 2's title on this album: "The Black Hawk War, Or, How To Demolish An Entire Civilization And Still Feel Good About Yourself In The Morning, Or, We Apologize For The Inconvenience But You're Gonna Have To Leave Now, Or, 'I Have Fought The Big Knives And Will Continue To Fight..." compared with any Nickleback song)
3. He's ambitious. (but in the right way) Sufjan is attempting to do what most people think is impossible: 50 theme albums inspired by the 50 states in the U.S. What?! That's right...and it's not for the money or fame. It's to create, to use His gift...Will he complete it? Who cares! The fact that he's even considering it is incredible.
4. He hangs out with the Danielson Famile. (proving his different-ness) Who, by the way, have a movie coming out. These guys are 'out there' in the best possible way...
5. His lyrics. From Chicago "you came to take us all things go, all things go to recreate us all things grow, all things grow we had our mindset (I made a lot of mistakes) all things know, all things know (I made a lot of mistakes) you had to find it (I made a lot of mistakes) all things go, all things go (I made a lot of mistakes)"
I met with my accountant today (a great way to spend a morning off), to get my tax prep done. I was dreading this, because of the multiple states (colorado and ohio), the complexity of minister's tax laws, and the sale of my portion of a coffee biz I had back in Denver. I passed the papers across the desk, watched my guy crunch the numbers, and we don't owe! I about danced a jig all on top of the desk! Basically, our good fortune is due to a few things: 1. Having a son. Ben gives us a nice fat credit. 2. Going to school. Bekah's tuition and my tuition shaved some more income off.
I've just spent way, way too much time tweakin' this blog. I've added a sitemeter, some technorati tools, some image links, and some more blogs and direct links. I've also added a permalink at the bottom of each post, as well as a few other very minor details. If only I could get rid of those blasted dots at the side of some of my links in the right sidebar. Grrrrr!
The views on drewmoser.com are solely my opinions. They are not necessarily the official views of any organization with which I'm affiliated (VOX Ohio, AEMC, Nieu Communities, etc.). There. I've covered my rear.
