drew moser : : theological riffs, cultural rants, anecdotal quips

Looking Back, Surveying the Present, and Peering into the Future

24 October 2007

National Adoption Awareness Month begins next week. It's a month to raise awareness; a month to call people to action. Our church will be having our second annual 'adoption Sunday', and I'll be preaching. I've found it relatively easy to lay out a biblical call to care for orphans. All you have to do is read the book to get the gist. Throw some startling statistics in there and people are sold.

The tougher part is trying to authentically and effectively communicate what adoption has done and will continue to do to my soul and my family. To gain a glimpse of what parenting Eloisa will initially look like, I'd encourage you to read THIS, from an adoptive mother on the struggle to win her adoptive daughter's heart while she waits for the completed adoption of another child. It's gut-wrenching yet also inspiring to someone on this path. I know the battle for Eloisa's heart will be very, very hard at times. I know she'll put up a good fight (her name, after all, means 'warrior'). But I'll fight for her.

But this is all looking ahead. At present, with 17 grueling months in an adoption process behind us, here's what I know:

"Adoption is very hard. It's at the center of God's heart, but it will rip yours out."-Dr. Leichner

I can't describe it any better. This has been our journey. It's been hard, but it's also been an incredible journey exploring the center of God's heart.

But it's nearly destroyed mine. It's been ripped out, trampled on. Meeting Eloisa for the first time, spending a week with her brought me as close to the center of God's heart as I've ever been.

But then we had to leave her in Guatemala...and wait. Bekah and I shot a video moments after dropping her off with her foster mom. Between sobs, we tried to communicate to Isa what we were feeling. She's the only person who will ever see it; someday when she begins to ask the tough questions.

But until then, we wait. Anticipated deadlines come and go. Progress stalls. Hope fades.

I'm coming to realize that this has been a necessary (though unbelievably painful) part of the process. The closer we enter to the center of God's plan, our hearts give way to His. Our plans give way to His. Our intentions give way to His.

And slowly, excruciatingly...they stop 'giving way' and they become His.

The shift from surrender to transformation continues. It's hard to explain, and words seem to be failing me right now, so I'd encourage you to prayerfully, seriously consider adopting yourselves. Then you'll understand.

But be warned: your heart will be ripped out.

Drew Moser @ 9:40 AM : : permalink : : 1 comments : : links to this post